John Scharmen (1966 - 2009)

I lost my brother yesterday.

Though, in a manner of speaking, while John died from a heart attack only 24 hours ago, truth be told, I had lost him decades before that.

John and I had always had a contentious sibling relationship. I was Jacob, he was Esau. He was everything that I wasn't and we fought about much. We shared a room for the first few years of our lives - separated only by bunk beds and body odor. When Dad built John a separate room in the garage, I had my freedom - and the end of our relationship had begun.

John was bigger than me and had always had a weight problem. This coupled with his learning disabilities made him a perfect candidate to be teased at school.

I'll never forget one Valentine's Day. John was in about 4th grade. The teacher passed out a list to the children of everybody's name in the class. "If you're making valentine's cards, be sure and make one for everybody in the class."

When the day arrived, the teacher had all the kids pass out their cards to each others desk. John faithfully passed out all 30 of his cards that he had prepared the night before. When he returned to his seat and looked down to see the cards he received - he found none. Apparently those kids didn't like John much either. Such was his life. He always found a way to make you upset with him.

Because John was larger than me he had the upper-hand whenever we fought. I knew that in a battle I could never get within arms reach of him or else I would be crushed. So I had to hit and run. John soon figured out my strategy and developed his own technique. He could throw a wrench or a baseball bat at a distant target quite easily.

One time he did grab me in his arms and pin my arms to the ground with his knees while he hit me in the face. I learned my lesson that day. I had to find a new fighting method.

And I did.

Words. I became so good at calling my brother names, that I could even do it from the safety of my locked bedroom. Until he broke the door open. Always remember to keep the back window of your room open for quick escape.

I made fun of everything I could think of about John. It was easy. Too easy. Thus was the start of our new relationship. Anger and name-calling. And occasional wrenches.

In reality, none of John's punches or wrenches have left a permanent mark on me. However, I am sure he carried the scars of my words up until his last day.

During summer, when our parents were away at work, was when the most damage could be done. Two brothers who didn't get along and a younger sister in the mix is a recipe for something of consequence to happen in a house.

I'll never forget the summer when I was around 12 or so. John and I had gotten into one of our screaming fights. After arguing and shouting at one another we each raced off to our rooms to get "weapons" for a fight. I angrily put on my "protective" bathrobe, slipped on a football helmet, grabbed a tennis racket and a belt. I was ready for battle.

I walked out of my room and down the hallway. As I looked across the kitchen and into the family room I could see John's bedroom door. I shouted to him at the top of my lungs, "PREPARE FOR BATTLE!!!!"

At that moment, I heard a noise behind me in the living room. There on the couch was my brother and a counselor that had come over to meet with John. They stared at me for what seemed like hours. Standing in my robe, a helmet on my head, and armed with a racket and belt - I sheepishly said "hello" and slunked back to my bedroom.

It's true. My brother needed counseling. He needed something. John, as long as I can remember, was a troubled person. And, honestly, I don't know that he ever liked himself. Maybe that's why he made up so many stories.

No one was better at lying then John Scharmen. He could become any age he wished. If he needed to be seventeen to get into a movie - he could do it. Twelve to get a discount? Done. Twenty-one to enter a bar? No problem. He told so many lies and half-truths growing up that it became difficult to know who he really was anymore. But he didn't just lie to do things he wasn't supposed to be doing. I think he told them so people would like him. Anything to be accepted.

And while no one could lie like John - nobody had a heart like John either.

All of his life John was driven by his heart. While he made foolish decisions all the time based on how he felt, those same feelings showed great compassion to the pain of others. Over the course of growing up, John brought home stray pets. At least we think they were stray. If your family lost a calico cat, please accept our apologies.

His heart allowed John to talk with anyone - regardless of their background. Deep down he loved his family - even as he made choices that seemed to defy that love.

His heart was his strength. And it was his weakness. And in the end, it gave up.

As I look back now, I feel for John. Yes, his life was filled with bad habits, terrible addictions, and poor choices. But, it started when he was just a kid. When we were brothers.

I lost John somewhere along the way. I lost my brother. So I am mourning him. Not so much what happened yesterday. I am mourning the loss of what John and I could have had together. I love you John.

April 2009

This letter is several weeks overdue! Forgive me for taking so long to thank you for your support of my recent trip to the Philippines. So let me say it plainly: THANK YOU.

Without your financial and prayerful support, I would not have been able to be a part of this team at the Sankey Samaritan Mission in the Philippines this past February.


I began this trip motivated by a desire to say, “YES.” My main goal was to be a “YES” man on this trip. To fight against my natural “NO” instincts and to allow God’s Spirit to make me aware of the needs of those around me. And then to work to meet those needs. My other goal was to remember everyone’s name. Daunting.

Let me try and summarize my 14-day adventure.

* TRAVELING TO MANILA AND LUCENA:

During our team’s 16-hour flight I pressed the button to turn on my reading light. I noticed that a light in the row in front of me went on instead of mine. This caused me to nervously reflect upon the quality of the electrical wiring of our plane’s cockpit.

Upon arriving in Manila, we began our two-hour drive to Lucena, swerving in and around mini busses and motorbike taxis. We whizzed past several basketball courts and cock-fighting arenas. Making a brief gas station pit stop Amanda opened our van door revealing a security guard brandishing a rifle. She slowly closed the van door.

Armed security guards are everywhere in this country. Tensions and mall bombings have been in the news lately. In fact, as we passed a stalled bus in the road, an angry man got out of his car, brandishing an Uzi. I quickly developed a new found respect for the daily tensions in the Philippines.


* SANKEY SAMARITAN MISSION:

Along the side road leading up to the mission is an irrigation canal. Many families have built their shanty homes along the sides of this canal – using it to bathe, wash, and drink.


When we arrived at the Sankey Samaritan Mission gates, the armed guards were there to greet us.

This Mission is, in reality, a “Children’s Home for Future Missionaries” and not an orphanage. Sankey was begun about eight years ago through the efforts, vision, and coordination of Tom Randall and World Harvest Ministries. The first priority was helping children who have been abused, orphaned, and neglected to have a home, a family, and a future in Jesus.

About forty kids live here and they are indeed being raised to have missionary hearts. Some are truly orphans whose parents are deceased. Some have had family members who abused them. Others neglected and left to find food on the streets.

As we toured the Sankey Mission we saw dorms, a mission house, a rice field, administration offices, a gymnasium, and a school building.

The school, Cugley Christian Academy, uses a Christian home-schooling curriculum which allows the kids to learn scripture in every subject and to go at their own pace as they work towards high school. Last year the Westgate church team was instrumental in completing this school building. Morning Flag Salute and stretching

Looking to the future, Sankey is hoping to register forty more students into their school from the surrounding community. They are also praying for people who can financially support individual Sankey kids to continue their education at a local private high school. They are also looking to build other dorms in order to give the Sankey kids who enter college a place to work and live on site.

* WORKING AS A TEAM:

BUILDING THE WALL – My team came to Sankey primarily to help them construct a wall along one side of their mission. Because of safety issues they wanted to complete the fence all along the perimeter of the grounds. This involved cinder blocks, cement, muscles, and sweat. Working alongside the locals, and wisely using a carabao (water buffalo), we were able to complete the wall faster than planned!

ADMINISTERING MEDICINE - Jeff Powers, a doctor on our team, brought along antibiotics and supplies. He worked tirelessly training the Sankey staff to administer check-ups, medicine, and shots to the kids. Our team joined the Sankey Mission in going out to the surrounding neighborhoods bringing bags of food, administering check-ups, and giving vitamins and iron to the children. On one day our team encountered kids with severe skin rashes that required our women to bathe and rub ointment on the afflicted children. Needless to say, we all reflected on the poverty-like conditions that exist here where families have to wash and bathe in the same irrigation canals where animals defecate upstream.

STYLING THE HAIR – One of our team members, Jen DeFiglio, is a hair-stylist and she spent the better part of a day washing and cutting the hair of the girls at the mission. She told the kids about “Locks of Love” and, of course, several of the girls wanted Jen to cut off their long hair and donate it to that ministry.

SERVING THE COMMUNITY – We joined the Sankey staff and several of the Sankey kids as they went out to a couple of nearby public schools and communities. We participated with them in sharing a gospel message, giving our testimonies, and handing out food. This is something that is ongoing with Sankey as they work to reach out to the people around them by meeting needs and giving the children opportunities to put their faith into action!

* CONNECTING WITH THE SANKEY KIDS:

As the week progressed, we found lots of times to spend with the kids. This was indeed the highlight for many of us. We played with them. We rode horses with them. We exchanged notes with them. We worshipped the Lord with them. We got to know each of them by name and personality.

While many of them have troubled backgrounds, this ministry doesn’t simply rescue them out of horrific and painful pasts. They aren’t merely fed and clothed. And they certainly aren’t at Sankey just to receive a Christian education.
Heizel practices to lead worship

No, these kids are being given so much more. They are receiving: a purpose, a hope, a faith, and a heart to serve others. And we saw it firsthand!

From the depths of their pain I saw young hearts ready to give love. I watched them go into the surrounding communities bringing food, songs, and the gospel. Some of the Sankey kids gave their personal testimonies. Others helped alongside our mission work. They encouraged each other and supported one another. And they encouraged us with verses, smiles, notes, and their love.
Giovanni poses with his craft

I believe that the true mission of Sankey can be summed up by this verse:

“Even though you planned evil against me, God planned good to come out of it…”
Genesis 50:20

For me personally, I want to stay connected to Sankey. I am sponsoring two kids so they can continue their education through high school. Also, I am hoping to return in the next couple of years to check up on their progress and work alongside the students in reaching out to their neighbors. I am staying in correspondence with them via snail mail and email. And, of course, I am praying for the kids and the ministry.

Thank YOU for partnering with me!